The Grudge

I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May

One phone call from you and my entire world was changed

Trust that you betrayed confusion that still lingers

You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers

And I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did

But I hold on to every detail like my life depends on it

My undying love now I hold it like a grudge

And I hear your voice every time that I think I'm not enough

And I try to be tough but I wanna scream

How could anybody do the things you did so easily

And I say I don't care I say that I'm fine

But you know I can't let it go I've tried

I've tried I've tried for so long

It takes strength to forgive but I don't feel strong

The arguments that I have won against you in my head

In the shower in the car and in the mirror before bed

Yeah I'm so tough when I'm alone and I make you feel so guilty

And I fantasize about a time you're a little ******* sorry

And I try to understand why you would do this all to me

You must be insecure you must be so unhappy

And I know in my heart hurt people hurt people

And we both drew blood but man those cuts were never equal

And I try to be tough but I wanna scream

How could anybody do the things you did so easily

And I say I don't care I say that I'm fine

But you know I can't let it go I've tried

I've tried I've tried for so long

It takes strength to forgive but I don't feel strong

Ooh do you think I deserved it all

Ooh your flower's filled with vitriol

You built me up to watch me fall

You have everything and you still want more

I try to be tough I try to be mean

But even after all this you're still everything to me

And I know you don't care I guess that that's fine

But you know I can't let it go I've tried

I've tried I've tried for so long

It takes strength to forgive but I'm not quite sure I'm there yet

It takes strength to forgive but ^[1]