Trauma

Growing up I never had a lot of money

成長路上 未曾真正有錢相伴

I never had a phone

我未曾有部手機

Always was a little hungry

肚子總是填不飽

Used to find it hard to sleep

那是還總難以入眠

When I could hear my mother sobbing

我也會聽見母親抽泣

I was 10 back then

那時候我十歲

I didn't have a room

還沒有自己的房間

Had to buy used shoes

只能買二手鞋

I hid behind tunes

我躲在音樂裏

To avoid abuse

來逃避虐待

And every time I fell

每次我墜落

I would blame it on myself

都會責怪自身

Even if it was an accident

儘管只是場意外

Maybe it's not what I want

或許這非我想要的

Oh I've seen better days

我已觀見更好的時光

And the moment ****ing sucks

那時候真糟心啊

But I'll be damned if I don't stop

可若我不停止 那必將受指責

And, honestly, why not

事實上 為何不繼續呢

When nobody gives a ****

反正沒人在意

But sometimes I just can't help myself

但有時候我控制不了自己

I wanna give up trying

曾一度想要放棄嘗試

And start doing something else

然後做點別的

Sometimes I just get overwhelmed

有時我會感到不知所措

I know it's in my mind

我深知此般思想根深蒂固

But I think I need some help

但我覺得我需要些許幫助

Cuz sometimes I just can't help myself

因為我每次情不自禁之際

I was an outcast

總是孤苦伶仃之時

Thrown out to dry and get laughed at

被人們晾在一旁 好讓他們嘲笑

Too shy to talk about home

對於家的故事 我也羞於啓齒

I always thought life was supposed to be cold

我本覺得世界就應該冷酷無情

And oh I've been so

我最近也一直很

Lost without hope

迷茫 沒有希望

I got a window in my head, it's a casket

我心靈中有一扇窗 可這是因為我心如死灰

You know I been wishing I was dead, but I mask it

我曾希望自己對一切就此別過 可我將之掩飾而過

Maybe it's not what I want

或許這非我想要的

Oh I've seen better days

我已觀見更好的時光

And the moment ****ing sucks

那時候真糟心啊

But I'll be damned if I don't stop

可若我不停止 那必將受指責

And, honestly, why not

事實上 為何不繼續呢

When nobody gives a ****

反正沒人在意

But sometimes I just can't help myself

但有時候我控制不了自己

I wanna give up trying

曾一度想要放棄嘗試

And start doing something else

然後做點別的

Sometimes I just get overwhelmed

有時我會感到不知所措

I know it's in my mind

我深知此般思想根深蒂固

But I think I need some help

但我覺得我需要些許幫助

Because it's all I know

因為這是我知道的全部

My hands around my throat

我的雙手扼住自身喉嚨

Pray that I won't let go

祈禱自身不會順其自然

This time around

這一次我逃過一劫

But every single time

但每次我

I try to shut my eyes

閉上雙眼

I see the reason why

我都能明白

I'm not alone

為何我並非孤身一人

Sometimes I just can't but sometimes I just can't help myself

但有時候我控制不了自己

I wanna give up trying

曾一度想要放棄嘗試

And start doing something else

然後做點別的

Sometimes I just get overwhelmed

有時我會感到不知所措

I know it's in my mind

我深知此般思想根深蒂固

But I think I need some help

但我覺得我需要些許幫助

Sometimes I just can't help myself

有時候我控制不了自己 ^[1]