Fingertips

When I look back tracing fingertips over plastic bags

Thinking "I wish I could extrapolate some small intention

Or maybe just get your attention for a minute or two"

Will I die

Or will I get to that ten-year mark

Where I beat the extinction of telomeres

And if I do will you be there with me Father Sister Brother

Charlie stop smoking

Caroline will you be with me

Will the baby be alright

Will I have one of mine

Can I handle it even if I do

It's said that my mind

Is not fit or so they said to carry a child

I guess I'll be fine

It wasn't my idea the cocktail of things that twists neurons inside

But without them I'd die

They say there's irony in the music it's a tragedy I

See nothing Greek in it

Give me a mausoleum in Rhode Island with Dad Grandma Grandpa and Dave

Who hung himself real high

In the National Park sky it's a shame and I'm crying right now

To get to you save you if I take my life

Find your astral body put it into my eyes

Give you two seconds to cry

Take you home I I'll give you a blanket

Your spirit can sit and watch TV by my side

'Cause baby I

Ran through a time when I felt you were doing it

I couldn't handle it I was in Monaco

I couldn't hear what they said on the telephone

I had to sing for the prince in two hours

Sat in the shower

Gave myself two seconds to cry

It's a shame that we die

When I was fifteen naked next-door neighbors did a drive-by

Pulled me up by my waist long hair to the beach side

I wanted to go out like you swim with the fishes

That he caught on Rhode Island beaches

But sometimes it's just not your time

Caroline what kind of **** was she to say I'd end up in institutions

All I wanted to do was kiss Aaron Greene and sit by

The lake twisting lime into the drinks that they made

Have a babe at sixteen the town I was born in and die

Aaron ended up dead and not me

What the ****'s wrong in your head to send me away

Never to come back

Exotic places and people don't take the place of being your child

I give myself two seconds to cry

Let it crash over me

Like the waves in the sea

Call me Aphrodite

As they bow down to me

Sunbather moon chaser queen of empathy

I give myself two seconds to breathe

And go back to being a serene queen

I just needed two seconds to be me ^[1]