Auntie Diaries

Heart plays in waves, the mind can't figure out

Heart plays in waves, the mind can't figure out

Heart plays in waves, the mind can't figure out

This is how we conceptualize human beings

My auntie is a man now

I think I'm old enough to understand now

Drinking Paul Masson with her hat turned backwards

Motorola pager off like, "Yes, Jackie"

Blue Air Max's, gold chains and curl kits

'93 Nissan wax job, the earliest

Big social, big personality, vocal

Played underground verbatim and stayed local

My auntie is a man now

I watch him and his girl hold their hands down

Tip of the avenues street lights made his

Thinking, "I want me a bad bitch when I get big"

They walk the corner like California king

Cold hand all up her skirt, cars whistling down the road

See, my auntie is a man now, slight bravado

Scratching the likes from lotto

Hoping that she pull up tomorrow

So I can hang out in the front seat

Six by nines keeping the music up under me

My auntie is a man now

Asked my momma why my uncles don't like him that much

And at the parties why they always wanna fight him that much

She said”Ain't no telling

Niggas always been jealous because he had more women

More money and more attention made more envy

Calling him anything but than broke was less offending“

My auntie is a man now

I think I'm old enough to understand now

Drinking Paul Masson with her hat turned backwards

Back when it was comedic relief to say "Faggot"

Faggot, faggot faggot, we ain't know no better

Elementary kids with no filter however

My auntie became a man and I took pride in it

She wasn't gay, she ate pussy, and that was the difference

That's what I told my friends in second grade

She picking up from school, they stare at her in the face

They couldn't comprehend what I grew accustomed

We pull off bumpin' quick like it was nothing

My auntie is a man now, what a relationship

I grew up fast, I needed no one to babysit

He gave me some cash then gave me some gang

Cherry freshener on the dash, I never complained

She even cut my hair at the pad, was loving my fade

The first person I seen write a rap

That's when my life had changed

House full of demo, smoke stuck on the window

Cameras on the microphone, all women and men though

My auntie was a man now, we cool with it

The history had trickled down and made us ig'nant

My favorite cousin said he's returning the favor

And following my auntie with the same behavior

Demetrius is Mary-Ann now

He's more confident to live his plan now

But the family in disbelief this time

Convincing themselves "He ain't living discreet, he's fine"

They said they never seen it in him, but I seen it

The Barbie dolls played off the reflection of Venus

He built a wall so tall you couldn't climb over

He didn't laugh as hard when the kids start joking

"Faggot, faggot, faggot" We ain't know no better

Middle school kids with no filter, however

I had to be very mindful of my good cousin

I knew exactly who he was but I still loved him

Demetrius is Mary-Ann now

I mean he's really Mary-Ann, even took things further

Changed his gender before Bruce Jenner was certain

Living his truth even if it meant see a surgeon

We didn't talk for a while, he seemed more distant

Wasn't comfortable around me, everything was offensive

But I recall we both had a sick sense of humor

Made raw, but time changes all

Demetrius is Mary-Ann now

Remember church, Easter Sunday?

I sat in the pew, you had stronger faith

More spiritual when these dudes were living life straight

Which I found ironic 'cause the pastor didn't see him the same

He said my cousin was going through some things

He promised the world we living in was an act on abomination

And Demetrius was to blame

I knew you was conflicted by the feelings a preacher made

Wondering if God still call you a decent man

Still you found the courage to be subservient just to anoint

Until he singled you out to prove his point, saying

Demetrius is Mary-Ann now

Church, his auntie is a man now, it hurt

He the most 'cause his belief was close to his words

Forcing me to stand now

I said“Mr. Preacher man, should we love thy neighbor?

The laws of the land or the heart, what's greater?

I recognize the study she was taught since birth

But that don't justify the feelings that my cousin preserved”

The building was thinking out loud, bad angel

That's when you looked at me and smiled, said "Thank you"

The day I chose humanity over religion

The family got closer, it was all forgiven

I said them F-bombs, I ain't know any better

Mistakenly I didn't think you'd know any different

See, I was taught words was nothing more than a sound

If everything was pronounced without any intentions

If every second you challenge the shit I was kicking

Reminded me about a show I did out the city

That time I brung a fan on stage to rap

But disapproved the word that she couldn't say with me

You said ”Kendrick, ain't no room for contradiction

To truly understand love, switch position

'Faggot, faggot, faggot,' we can say it together

But only if you let a white girl say 'Nigga'“